Sometimes, the life we've worked so hard to build no longer feels like the life we want to live.
Have you ever looked at the life you worked so hard to build and wondered whether you still want it? Perhaps the career you once dreamed of no longer excites you. The things you used to strive for don't seem quite so important. Or maybe you've found yourself longing for a slower, softer, more meaningful way of living, but feel confused and frustrated for wanting something different. I know that feeling. And recently, an unexpected encounter with my old life reminded me just how much we can change, and how important it is to give ourselves permission to do so.
I always feel a bit discombobulated at this time of year. I can’t tell whether it’s the clocks going back, which always seem to throw me off, or the fact that I recently came face-to-face with my old life.
A few weeks ago, I was travelling on a bus when it stopped right outside the window of my old office in London. It stopped for a good 3-4 minutes at a red light. Long enough for me to peer in and see people and fragments of my old 2017 life.
I don't know why life does this. Just when you've almost forgotten about a particularly painful period of your life, you're brought face-to-face with it again.
Life is tidal like that. From time to time, waves come crashing in out of nowhere, washing up remnants of experiences we still need to make peace with.
It got me thinking about how uncomfortable it can be to sit with what is true for us now.
We're very good at distracting ourselves, aren't we? Keeping busy, looking ahead, making plans, filling the gaps. Anything to avoid sitting still long enough to hear what our inner world might be trying to tell us.
For me, the uncomfortable truth was that I couldn't make that career work anymore.
When your body knows before you do
I'm hugely grateful for that experience, too, because it forced me to really look at my life and accept what wasn't working. I also think that sometimes what worked for us before doesn't necessarily work as we get older. And that's fine, too.
We're allowed to change. We're allowed to want different things. We're allowed to outgrow the lives we've worked so hard to build.
I often think about the Anaïs Nin quote: “When one is pretending, the entire body revolts.”
In 2017, my body was screaming. I had never felt so disconnected from myself. I was trying desperately to keep going, to make something work that, deep down, I already knew wasn't right for me.
Looking back, I can see how much energy I was spending trying to override what I felt. How easy it was to keep pushing, to convince myself that I simply needed to try harder, to be more resilient, to find a way through But sometimes, the way through isn't about trying harder.
Sometimes, it's about listening.
Listening to the discomfort that you've been trying to ignore. Making space for those parts of you that are asking for something different and really listening to the body that has been carrying you through a life you may have already outgrown. And, perhaps most importantly, allowing yourself to believe that what you're hearing is worth paying attention to.
You're allowed to become someone new
I think we can underestimate how much courage it takes to let go of a life that, on paper, looked so good. A life you've worked damn hard for. A life that other people might even admire or want to emulate. A life that once felt like everything you wanted.
It’s painful and liberating to realise that something you once dreamed of no longer feels right. There is guilt, too. A sense that you're somehow ungrateful for wanting something different. But we are not the same person we were ten, five or even 2 years ago.
Our needs change. Our values shift. Our understanding of what it means to live well shifts.
The life that once asked you to be ambitious, capable and endlessly available might now be asking you to slow down and make room for pleasure, creativity, rest and the things that make you feel most like yourself. You might discover that success looks very different than it did in your twenties, or even your thirties. That’s not a failure of the life you've built - it’s a beautiful sign of your own becoming.
So, if a little piece of your old life has caught you by surprise recently, thank it for the reminder.
You're not where you once were. You've grown, you've changed, and you're allowed to be somewhere entirely different now. How wonderful.
And if you're finding it difficult to sit with that truth, perhaps you don't need to figure everything out just yet. Perhaps you can simply give yourself a little space to notice what is here. What feels true for you now? And what’s uncomfortable about that? What are you holding onto that you've outgrown? And what might become possible if you gave yourself permission to honour something different?
You don't have to have all the answers. You don't need to rush towards the next version of yourself. Often, the most powerful thing we can do is simply pause long enough to listen to the wisdom that is already within us.
Perhaps reading this has stirred something in you. Maybe you're beginning to question what you want, feeling ready for a change, or simply longing to feel more like yourself again.
This is where I can help.
Through my one-to-one coaching, I support sensitive, purpose-driven women who are ready to step out of old patterns, reconnect with themselves and create a life that feels more aligned with who they are becoming.
It's a space to slow down, untangle what's keeping you stuck, explore what you really want and begin making choices from a place of self-trust rather than expectation.
You don't have to wait until you're burnt out, at breaking point or have everything figured out to ask for something different. If you're feeling the pull towards change, I'd love to connect.
Hi, I’m Bea…
I help sensitive, purpose-driven women feel safe to rest, receive & thrive.
Through holistic coaching and restorative retreats, I help sensitive, purpose-driven women to slow down, reconnect with themselves and create a life that feels deeply aligned with who they are.
Because when your body remembers that it's safe, rest becomes possible. And from there, everything changes.